Today was actually good. I spent some time in Silverton with my sister and her kids, and my mom. the boys had a really good time till the inevitable squabbling began.
i am making real progress with my inner search for Stephanie. I had a deep chat with eric last night about what we liked and dont like about our lives together. and i asked him about what his favorite thing about ME is. He told me his favorite thing i do is when i am really comfortable somewhere i tend to break out in geek mode and make jokes, and laugh. evidentally i dont do that often anymore. I will have to try harder to 'loosen up' and have a good time.
i cant wait till OCF. less than 2 weeks! 3 days of sun and freedom. no kids to chase, no cups to fill, and no diapers to change! (i love my kids, but after almost 4 years of near constant child rearing, i think i have earned a vacation) we have been saving some money so we can take it with us and have a good time. I will have to post some pics of the good time! :) i am really hoping to get my body painted. (from belly button up) Last year i saw some of the most amazing painted people. I am not sure that i will have the guts to walk around topless all day tho. it will definately be an experience if i can make myself do it. my body isnt 'ugly'... it isnt beautiful and toned either. maybe paint will help cover the imperfections... i remember last year we took our sons with us. Orion was only about 8 months old. I wore him in a moby wrap, and i was topless underneith. it was very liberating.
I am really hoping that upon our return from OCF i wont be wound quite so tight all the time. I have supplimented my wordrobe with quite a few 'hippie' type of items. comfortable, loose, and natural fibers. (for the most part) Lately i have been rocking the strapless and/or bra-less styles. i think they actually look ok. I have a few strapless sun dresses and one tube-type top, as well as i bought a black tiny tye on bikini. i dont know if i will actually wear the bikini with out clothes on top, but its a staple in my book. :) one of my favorite items is a black wrap dress. I feel sexy and beautiful in it!
ok. Im rambling because i am exhausted... at least eric bartered his soul with me tonight.... well, not his soul, per say. He wanted to stay out with tamara late tonight so i make him agree to get up with the boys and let me sleep in... my favorite! lol
ok. goodnight Blogger Universe!
~Stephanie Collins
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